If you were me, could you defend the given rights to all the men?

I have not updated in a really long time!!!

Well, I'm still out of a job. However, that's kind of a good thing. I took two classes this semester, math and english, and I'm doing pretty well. I have about 3 weeks left of classes, and then I'll have 6 college credits! I'm going to be in school full-time next semster. I've decided to become a teacher, either a science teacher or a special education teacher.

Other than that, I don't have too much going on. Jon's family and my uncle are coming over to the house for thanksgiving, so I'll get to do a whole bunch of cooking. I've come to really enjoy cooking, now that I have the time to do it!

And now I'm off to math class :-)

Next one won't be till 4-4-16, so enjoy this one! What a delightfully right day :-)

I've fallen WAY behind on my fitness. I used to go to the gym every morning without fail. It was a great routine. Unfortunately, my husband and I joined a gym together, and he's a little less strict than I am about waking up and getting to the gym in the mornings, so we missed a bunch of days and I started getting lazy.

So I am 140 pounds right now, and according to my height and frame size, I should be around 120 to 125. 120 would be... awesome. Any lower than that and I don't feel my body functions very efficiently, but 120 is a good area to be, especially since my weight fluctuates (I think everyone's does) 3 to 5 pounds, below and above my typical weight. I figure I can comfortably lose 20 pounds by next July...

....which brings me to my next goal. I have wanted to attend the anime expo in California since I was 14, so about 10 years now. I have never been to one. I've resolved to attend it in 2009. My husband is not an anime fan at all (the exception being Ranma 1/2, he thinks that one is funny enough to watch with me) but he agreed to go so long as we only attend one day and do something else that he wants to do while we are in California. I can live with that! So I'm aiming to drop 20 pounds, and I fully intend to dress up. I'm just not sure who I am going to dress up as yet. Nothing too revealing :-) I have a fondness for Miaka from Fushigi Yuugi, and had planned to dress up as her 10 years ago when the idea first hit me, but I'm not too attached to that plan now, I don't think. Plus, I don't think my hair will be long enough by then, and I'm going to try to stay away from wigs.

So I am going to start back up in the gym this coming Sunday, the 21st (multiples of 7 fall on Sundays this month ;-)) and aim to be in the gym 4 to 5 days a week. That's really not excessive, as it wasn't too long ago that I was working out every morning. I rotate my muscle groups each day, so I end up giving each muscle group adequate time to recover before I work it again.

I will now cease to bore you with my fitness ramblings :-)

A couple of weeks ago I took something called Real Colors Training at my place of employment. Here is their webpage, which gives limited information.

Basically, you answer a series of questions which get you put into one of four color categories: Gold, Orange, Blue, and Green. Golds are, in a short description, deadline focused. Blues are the touchy-feely ones of the bunch. Oranges like to do their work on their own timeline and need socialization. Greens (which is what I was) are the logical thinkers.

I liked the training on one hand, yet didn't on another. It was interesting to hear from the trainer and those in the other color groups see myself and others like me (to sum it up, we're seen as abrupt and rude. Had it confirmed later by others that they do in fact see me that way at times. Well sorrrryyyyy!!! =P), so I enjoyed the fact that the training started that type of dialogue, as I wonder often how I am perceived at work. I also was very interested in hearing how everone else works through problem and such, and what their priorities are. However, did it help me conceive better methods of communication with others? No, not really.

What I did not like about the training was, for one, that it put me into a category. Now I have people make comments to me about me being a green, so this is why I do this and that, etc. Like that can be the sum of my whole being. Its made me more painfully aware of my differences from others, which I didn't need help with since I was all ready pretty aware of my strangeness, thank you very much. I feel more scrutinized by some now, and it makes it hard to not try and explain Asperger's to people I work with, and let them in on the fact that I may be wired quite differently from them. I also felt it was quite cruel that he made us break into groups by our color. Ever see 10 adults with limited social skills and a desire to work on anything and everything alone try to brainstorm? HA! And I was the leader of the group, having the highest level of greenieness. I found myself staring at the orange and gold table, wishing I could borrow one of them. However, I guess it served to prove a point... or something.

Bottom line, I was made a bit uncomfortable with having to do something like this at work. I don't feel in any way that it will affect my job, I just get really tired of having people make reference to the fact that I am a "green" and therefore I do x.

I was going to post this in the Asperger's Community, then decided to just post it within my own journal, as I am going to take a somewhat against-the-grain stance.

( Noticed the length, added the cut )

I made a terrible mistake, and I want to talk about it but I don't know how.

I feel so incredibly depressed. I haven't felt suicidal, but I've thought about dying, if that makes sense.

I cried in front of a lot of people yesterday. I don't think I've ever lost control of myself like that before. Even when my father died, I never broke down in front of anyone, the exception being the moment I was told he was dead. I just don't like crying in front of people. I don't think its a desire to not look weak or anything like that. Maybe it is. I don't know.

I have school tonight, my first class of the semester. I feel completely uninterested. I feel horrible. And I'm in so much physical pain. I just want the world to go away.

Every teacher I've ever had will usually find within the first week of knowing me that I am a huge weirdo/nerd. However, I think this one will go down in the record books. I've successfully revealed my secret identity to my mathematics teacher for the fall semester a full MONTH before the start of school. Here's the exchange of emails...

I just wanted to be able to study so I wouldn't fail :-( I really honestly thought my request was a common one. And that my resons were common ones. I'm paying over $200 for this ONE class, I sure as hell don't plan on failing!!!

I have many interests... but most of them do not TAKE me places, if you know what I mean. Most of what I get interested in will last maybe a few days, is super focused, takes up a TON of time from me (if not all my time) and requires little more than books or an internet connection to pursue.

A few of my interests are pretty ongoing and constant, such as math and science, and having a general love for science is nice, because I'll suddenly get on a super obsession with say, evolutionary biology for a long bit and I learn a lot from it.

But my short-lived fascination with matryoshka dolls? Yeah, didn't do a whole lot for me as far as useful knowledge goes, and a lot of my short lived obsessions/passions are like that--satisfying, in a way, to me, but not terribly useful.

I would like to become that hyper-focused/obsessed with something that would take me OUTSIDE. Something that would strengthen my desire to go places. I had a love for photography, on and off, over the past several years, and I'm thinking I might throw myself into that. Maybe I'll just take my camera with me everywhere and snap pictures when I feel inspired.

I've never been the artistic type except when it came to photography. I feel like I am truly seeing the world with different eyes when I look through the lens of a camera. Mmm. Maybe I'm not explaining that well. But, it is what it is.

And where's the thunderstorm that was threatening last night?!

I feel cheated.

My eyes hurt, my head feels funny like its full of pressure...

And I kept seeing this flash of light RIGHT in the corner or my right eye, but matter how fast I turned my head and stared, I couldn't catch it. Soon as I looked away--BOOM!--there it was. Arg.

But I went outside and realized a thunderstorm is coming so I think it was lightning. Ugh. Really agitated me. I hate when I see flashes and can't catch them. Strangely, it hasn't happened since I figured out what it was.  

Stressful week.

Regina says:
hey
Regina says:
is for horses
Regina says:
but seriously
Regina says:
you there?
Regina says:
I can't recall if I saw you walk back over...
Joellen says:
yes
Regina says:
sweet
Regina says:
what would you say, in your opinion, what the point to small talk is?
Regina says:
or what the point OF small talk is rather
Regina says:
AH! I'm not the only one stumped by this thought
Regina says:
makes me feel better
Joellen says:
so is it my day to cover phones?
Joellen says:
oh yah it's only thurs
Joellen says:
ok
Joellen says:
so you are leaving at noon?
Regina says:
omg, you totally ignored my question
Regina says:
meanie
Regina says:
I was only going to leave for like 20 minutes to grab something to eat
Joellen says:
i pulled a robin on you!
Joellen says:
sorry small talk...um probably just showing respect but they don't really wanna talk, you know??  LOL
Joellen says:
ok that will be fine, i will be there at noon
Regina says:
hmm
Regina says:
does everyone hate small talk? I really dislike it, I can't see anyone enjoying it... but people still engage in it, so I have to assume SOME people like it
Joellen says:
i don't care for it eiter
Joellen says:
either
Joellen says:
ok
Joellen says:
where you going for lunch?
Regina says:
so, do you think our conversation would qualify as small talk... about small talk? cause if so, I'd have to say this would be the one time I've liked it, if only because of how ironic it is. mwahaha!
Regina says:
hmmm
Regina says:
I was thinking Cousins Subs
Regina says:
or
Regina says:
hmm
Regina says:
I haven't had a burger in a while too...
Regina says:
its not often I get to drive wherever I want to
Joellen says:
you are sill
Joellen says:
y
Regina says:
so do you want me to pick anything up for you? Do you have any suggestions? I can't decide where to go...
Joellen says:
i don't mean to be short, but kind of busy and not good day, very stressed
Regina says:
no no that's okay
Regina says:
sorry ^^

Someone sent me a link to a clip from one of Ellen DeGeneres' shows. She and a guy made up a mixture of cornstarch and water and had someone in the audience walk across it REALLY FAST. It was pretty neat (and despite the cautions to not try this at home, I think I may be crazy/stupid enough to attempt it) but it brought to my min a memory from 4th grade.

My 4th grade teacher had made the same mixture and tinted it green. She told us an expedition had been made to Pluto and they had brought this back from Pluto. I, of course, did not question how my border town teacher could get a hold of such a treasure, and I also didn't consider the fact that I hadn't heard about such an expedition on the news, I trusted my teacher and took what she said at face value. As far as I can remember, she never told anyone she was kidding.

I went home and excitedly told my parents about it, and they didn't correct me or explain reality to me... they probably wanted me to retain my innocence as long as possible.

Oh I retained it for a long time, I did. Despite the fact that I knew NO HUMAN had ever been on any planet other than Earth, I still somehow continued to believe that the mixture I saw in 4th grade was from Pluto. When I was 17, Jon and I started dating, and I told him about it... and it was then that I learned what the mixture was and that nearly all teachers pull that stunt with their students. I simultaneously find it funny that I was THAT naive, and it also kind of pisses me off. That damn teacher could have at least told me she was joking!!!

Let's start with religion, get that out of the way.

Its actually not so much religion as it is people and how full of themselves they can be.



Okay, that's all. Just had to get all that off my chest.

I've got a bell at my desk for customers to ring in case I am not within eye-sight. Since I have gotten it, the only people utilizing it have been fellow employees out to torment me.

So, I'm coming out of the bathroom, which is separated from my area by a wall, and I hear the bell ring. Ugh, I hate that bell.

So I growled, "Knock it off!" as I rounded the corner.

To my surprise, it was not an employee.

I can't tell if I offended him or not, not like I usually can tell that sort of thing ANYWAYS. Mehl

We have now owned Barley for about a year, and he was 3 months old when we adopted him. Therefore, just about any of his traits can be blamed on us, and probably more so on me because I threw myself into training him and caring for him when we got him, more so than Jon.

I just got a phone call (well duh, I'm the receptionist) of the sort that I hate the very most: "Someone keeps calling me from this number."

We have 300+ employees. Half the time, this person doesn't have anything for me to go one, and is *probably* being called by someone that is meaning to call another number. I explain to the caller that there's no way for me to find out who is calling them and apologize. *Most* of the time, this is enough for them.

Not *this* guy.

When I explained my predicament to him, and my inability to find out who was calling him, he said, "Well, I work a graveyard shift and this is interrupting my sleep!"

I *immediately* felt bad. Not because this man's sleep was getting interrupted. No. Because I misinterpreted what the guy said, for *whatever* reason, and thought he worked at a *Graveyard*. And now I can't even figure out why that would have made me feel bad. Oh so strange.

Well, anyway, he helped me stop feeling bad when I offered to take down his number and send out an email. The fucker hung up on me.

Oh yea. I rock.

Myheritage.com says I look most like Ewan McGregor. hahaha!!

Okay, that was just for one of my pictures, and it was a low percent. Nicole Kidman came up most often, and in the highest percentile. I can live with that. She's pretty sexy. Sexier than me, to be sure, but it's neat to see the facial similarities. And the site was just plain fun.

I want to go the way of Alexander Supertramp.

EDIT: I should be a little more clear about what I mean. I don't want to die like McCandless... I think his death was very unfortunate. However, I would love to have an ounce of this kid's courage.

Here are some pictures of my wedding dress.

Of course, I didn't wear it, but I found the pictures on my phone, and the dress was so damn pretty!